Improving Communications

There is a message at the heart of every situation, whether it be positive or not.

This watercolor abstract artwork represents our desire for love, to be loved, and to love. Many express feelings of loneliness and struggle to have satisfying relationships, whether romantic, friendly, or familial. Conflicts are frequent, and warmth and intimacy are lacking. How can we establish warmth or at least satisfaction in our relationships?

Let's explore together.

Understanding ourselves better is crucial. We possess a rich realm of emotions within us, some consciously felt, others hidden away and avoided. Indeed, within each wave of emotion, discomfort, or misunderstanding lies a seed, a message, or a gift that can help us better understand and navigate relational situations. This lesson or seed, when recognized, can grow into a strong and healthy tree, bearing fruit.

We can undoubtedly learn from all situations. Objectively observing ourselves, asking introspective questions that help us better understand why we reacted a certain way is the first step—better self-understanding.

Learning to communicate is a skill I consider equally essential—the second step. Without effective communication, many couples drift apart emotionally. Yet, satisfactory communication is possible, but this ability doesn't develop spontaneously. I consider good communication as the foundation of a fulfilling life. Many clients express a silent distance with their partners, a muted discomfort, the elephant in the room, a subtle unease no one dares admit but persists. Others mention feeling unseen or unappreciated, with conversations filled with abrupt and unpleasant interruptions. If there was an initial authentic and intimate communication, it gradually weakens.

Learning to communicate is an art, and the more we practice it, the more natural and easier it becomes, much like painting or practicing a sport. I suggest practicing the art of being present and grounded in our bodies. In today's society, we are often absorbed in our inner thoughts, disconnected from our body's messages, unanchored, absorbed in our thoughts, and, admittedly, distant from the present moment.

How can we achieve a full connection with our bodies, a real grounding? Take a few deep breaths, let your mind calm down. Feel the space around you, the earth; imagine roots sinking deeply from your feet into the earth, drawing on the stability and peaceful presence of the earth. This creates a sense of grounding and presence. Walking peacefully in nature, regular meditation, and relaxation are recognized techniques that I recommend.

What is presence? Being present involves a direct immersion in every aspect of the present moment, whether it's the reactions of our bodies or the discovery of our emotions, sometimes subtle and almost elusive. Similarly, we can feel the environment and even the people around us, perceiving their needs and states of mind.

In mental tranquility, when the mind is firmly anchored and fully present, we reconnect with our authentic nature, the deepest essence within us, a balanced wisdom. We have access to our wisdom; it is always present, but we don't always listen to it. Presence also allows us to better understand and feel others and all our experiences with greater clarity.

Judgment: When we are fully present, our ability to feel others is expressed without judgment, infused with compassion. Understanding that each person carries their fears and insecurities guides us toward responses filled with clarity. This benevolent clarity leads to satisfaction, even if it's not always evident at the beginning.

Some situations can serve as powerful triggers, complex and challenging, but by examining them carefully, we can draw lessons from them. Compassion towards ourselves remains a fundamental key, a constant learning, an evolving part of the process of self-awareness and communication.

Learning to listen, see, and feel is an innate skill.

We can perceive beyond words, discerning the hidden messages behind others' words. For example, behind anger, we may recognize sadness. Delving deeper, we may discover that this sadness hides a feeling of powerlessness and great loneliness, a profound need for attention and love. This is a message at the very heart of those around us; it is up to us to take the time to look, feel, and delve into deeper emotions. Integrating this understanding allows us to communicate much more satisfactorily.

However, it is equally crucial to discern the potential of our relationships. Sometimes, this involves realizing that the only solution is to distance ourselves from a complex and unhealthy relationship.

It is crucial to recognize that there are many ways to rebuild connections and experience rewarding friendship and love. Discernment involves taking an honest look at our situation, choosing either to draw closer or to step away, depending on the circumstances.

I offer individual or couples’ sessions. In a few meetings, relationships often soften and improve. Solving our problems on our own is not always easy. The objectivity of a trained coach can guide us in the right direction. If you are interested in a private or couples’ session, please feel free to contact me.

 

Lynne Cardinal (c)